Home- There is something marvelous about returning home at the end of a long day,
even if there is tuna fish for dinner.
Family- Siblings who claim to get along all the time are most definitely hiding
School- Anyone who asks you to describe your summer vacation in writing probably
has a secret, infernal plan, and under no circumstances should you include in
your report even a hint of the truth.
Work- Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy,
for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but
that doesn’t mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.
Entertainment- It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just
when things are really getting interesting.
Literature- A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody
will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.
Travel- There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there
are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
Emotional Health- The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
Affairs of the Heart- One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irr-
tating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.
A Life of Mystery- Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
The Mystery of Life- Fate is like a strange unpopular restaurant, filled with odd
waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.
An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape No Matter What One Does-
Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
Miscellaneous- If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your
mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
And my new philosophy of life:
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them